(This post has been rated M for Mature.)

For those of you who are fans of the American version of The Office, you may recall that towards the end of Season 8 a drunken Robert California left Nellie Bertram a message on her phone which he cannot recall, but which contained a list of questions, which were believed to be sexually explicit. You may also recall that Nellie answered each of his questions in person with the answers “Yes”, “Yes”, “Yes”, “Yes” and “Never.”

The exact nature of Robert’s questions are a great mystery that has everybody making their own guesses. After giving it much thought I believe I have deciphered each of his questions. Here they are…

Question #1: Do your boobs hang low?

Question #2: Do they wobble to and fro?

Question #3: Can you tie them in a knot?

Question #4: Can you tie them in a bow?

Question #5: Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?

And then repeating the first question would have been redundant. Robert California doesn’t waste time.